Lorraine: Veronica was placed in this class by her counselor, who called her disconnected and passionless. That would make her counselor kind of an idiot, or maybe she just didn’t watch the pilot. (D: She can recite Pope from memory while half-asleep! Screw you, high school counselors.) This conversation is interrupted by Paris Hilton who is also in newspaper! Joy. They exchange useless lines and, hey, look, a Paris Hilton gif.
Democracy Diva: Sadly, this gif captures Paris Hilton’s finest acting moment of the episode.
Veronica Mars S01 E02 - Credit Where Credit’s Due
(full recap here: 1 Episode in Paris)
Lorraine: Rosewood apparently has some of those really loud twigs common in Sunnydale because they suddenly all hear one CRACK! Spencer thinks it’s a rabbit and then they all get text messages from the rabbit!
Wait, no, fuck. That isn’t right.
Pretty Little Liars 1x03 - To Kill a Mocking Girl
(full recap here: A Shitty Turnout)
The Traumaland Awards: Substitute Parent of the Year
Parents of any variety being such rarities in Traumaland, there were really only two worthy of facing off for this title: Rupert Giles - Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ashley Marin (to Emily Fields) - Pretty Little Liars.
View the full list of Traumaland Awards 2014 Nominees
Sweeney: Flashback Veronica has much longer hair. One day Duncan dumped her without warning. She also introduces Duncan’s BFF Logan Echolls, whose father is a movie star. He mocks Veronica because he sees her watching Duncan. V refers to him as the school’s “obligatory psychotic jackass.”
Lorraine: Veronica was intensely staring for a REALLY long time. Those darn flashbacks will leave you looking a fool.
Kirsti: Sam wants to know if he and JDM are still paying for everything by committing credit card fraud. Dean says it’s not his fault that companies keep sending them cards in all the fake names they apply under. Sam changes the topic, bitching about Dean’s taste in music.
They roll out to AC/DC’s Back in Black, because OBVIOUSLY.
Sara: My vote goes to Dean, because driver always picks the music, fool, and I’m not just saying that because I really, really want to make out with his face.